Fairy Tales. The Big Lie?

Good Morning! Not too long ago I heard a woman tell a group of people that she never told her children about Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny because she "doesn't believe in lying to children". On that note, we at Hollyhocks plan to read the evening newspaper to the twins at bedtime. "The housing market continues to decline in many areas of the US"...NOT!!!  We are going to lie to these kids about everything. Mr. Hollyhocks will be up on the roof with the faux reindeer feet after he eats the cookies the kids leave out for Santa (I'll probably have to eat Rudolph's carrot!), eggs will be hidden, teeth will be purchased, etc.

We plan to do whatever it takes to preserve a sense of wonder in the children. Life will toss them enough other stuff. We will marvel at leaves and flowers and bees. We will read stories and teach them to respect Cadbury as a treasured big brother.

We won't have TVs in the bedrooms or video games in the house (My students were horrified by this. They assured me that the twins will be "big geeks"). It will be fun to see what the kids have to teach us about imagination when the big lighted box in the living room is turned off.

On this note, I would love it if you would share with me your philosophy for raising children and some of the creative things and family traditions you have shared with your children or children in your life. As Senator Clinton says...It takes a village to raise a child... I bet it takes a whole city to raise twins...

Oh, and in case you've noticed....The photos are, of course, of some delicious Superbuzzy fabric. I could just frame the stuff! Who can bear to cut it up?...I am thinking of a natural linen and fairy tale quilt (or 2) for the teddy grahams...as soon as I can sit at my sewing machine. That way we can point out characters as we read the stories. Don't worry, I also have newsprint fabric....

Spring has finally arrived in Western NY. There are leaf buds on the saltspray roses and the grass is greening. We are not free of frost danger until late May, but that day is coming....When I am tempted to dwell on and worry about "my situation" I think of my beloved Martha and her 5 months in the Big House. At least I'm in my own home.

...and I have a coloring book now...Hello Kitty of course...thanks to the DH. I am thankful for all of you.

Thank you for visiting Hollyhocks.

20 weeks, 3 days.

Comments

[pam]

Ohh Santa and the Easter bunny. My 20 year old still loves the stocking and Easter basket best. We kept the myth alive many years longer than others with this brilliant plan. Santa always brought something inappropriate. Something mom wouldn't allow, so it seemed legit. And our dog would bring stuff as well, like one year the dog brought her a feathery fan she wanted and I wouldn't buy. Well, he was a Jack Russell and you know how they can really get things done. We didn't do video games either, or tvs in the room. But I would caution about making up too many rules beforehand.. you never know what will unfold before you. Fitting in to some degree is always important.

Woo hoo.. watching the little daily counter.. more days is good news.

[pam]

PS you always knew the dog did it because the box had teeth marks on it where he carried it.

[Brandy]

First, love the fabric! Superbuzzy is always super cute!

Well, I'm in the waiting phase with you, too. I'll conjecture about what it will be like on the other side of gestation. . . I agree about the TV's and video games--there's a lot to be said for participating in real life.

I read something the other day from Rabbi Shmuley where he said that the ideal father is playful with his wife to make her smile and enjoys seeing her laugh. A playful nature with each other will translate into a parent who knows what children need for happiness--love, joy and time.

I really have to agree. Since I don't have any experience yet, I'll say what worked for my mother. She always had me working along side her, learning her work and helping. It usually wasn't boring or punishing and helped me to feel like I was contributing to our family. Kids love to feel needed and involved and I plan to do the same.

Now where's my tiny rake?

[Sarah]

We are big fat liars here too. Jack has no idea what guns are, even the toy ones, and we have santa and bunnies and not too far away the tooth fairy too.

No tv in his room, no soda (although he does eat happy meals, lol).

We let him lead though.

He is super interested in these learning computer type things (like leap frog), and we let him have those. In fact, I think he learns a lot from them.

For a long time he didnt care about the imaginative toys, so I didnt push it, and he seems to be growing into it on his own time.

Tradition wise, we always go the shriners parade, we have french toast every time it snows, we go swimming the last day of the season that the pool is open, and I am sure there are more.

Philosophy wise, hmmm, we try and just go with the flow. We hope to be guiding Jack but not controlling Jack. Does that make sense?

[Colleen Martin]

I have 16 year old twin boys. They are my treasures, and have kept me sane while simultaneously pulling out my hair. I lied to them. They grew up with folk songs, fairy tales, Santa, and the Easter Bunny. When they were 3 we were walking back from preschool and talking about where the Easter Bunny lived. My son Tom said with absolute certainty that he was from San Francisco. A few too many walks home making dinosaur noises later and my son james insisted on being introduced as Godzilla at a preschool get together. Everyone was lovely and called him Godzilla. Made his night. Imagination is the best thing we can give our kids. That and our unswerving love. Have fun. You are about to get hit with a ton of wonder and joy =0)

[fredsworldblog.com]

Hi Vicki, keep the magic alive, this political correctness is stupid, you will be the best mum in the world, spoil them , love them, and remember to cuddle them while you can reach them. A good friend told me this at the funeral of her daughter aged 18, its never left me, it even upsets me to type it. PS.your supposed to be resting! bye for now , fred x

[fredsworldblog.com]

Hi Vicki, keep the magic alive, this political correctness is stupid, you will be the best mum in the world, spoil them , love them, and remember to cuddle them while you can reach them. A good friend told me this at the funeral of her daughter aged 18, its never left me, it even upsets me to type it. PS.your supposed to be resting! bye for now , fred x

[barbara]

OK, I love that fabric. On to child-rearing: For reasons I can't begin to explain, we were way in favor of Santa Claus and all the wonder and joy and magic of Christmas, and completely against perpetuating the Easter Bunny myth. (But having Easter baskets and eggs and all of that. Just no big jolly bunny.) Even to us, it makes no sense, but somehow it worked. Which I think says something about knowing yourself and your values and embracing whatever it is you believe in. And I think I'm proudest of the fact that both of my kids (16 year old son, 13 year old daughter) absolutely love the sound of rain on the roof. I bet you'll be a great parent because you're thinking about all the right stuff already. Enjoy this gorgeous weather!

[Leigh]

Love the fabric!

I have to say that I have some of the best kids ever! I think God knew I could not handle bad ones, teehee!

Here is my personal belief, let them be kids. They will grow up soon enough. I am so tired of people pushing kids to do this and be this! Sorta like potty training. Trust me, unless there is an issue they will get trained, why does it have to be a contest! Okay, I am off my soapbox! I think you will be a great mother!!!!!!

[Diane]

Yeah, if I could do it over, I would lie! I also was one of those moms that thought I should always be totally honest with my kids, because otherwise how will they ever trust you? Well, my oldest asked about Santa at a very young age, and I told him the truth..... my next child still believes in Santa and she is in college!

One neat thing we did with our kids, as a Christian, and believing in prayer, when we would hear an ambulance go bye, we would say a prayer for the person that was needing it. My kids are adults now, and they still do this, isn't that cool?

Have a great day,

Diane from Michigan

[corrie]

cute fabrics...as you know I have a soft spot for japanese fabrics!

don't get me started on computer games....I won't be letting any boys have them and hope they'll be too busy playing football, being outside, reading, swimming and all of that good stuff while the girls will do some crafting, sewing, cooking, ballet, piano and being little girls :)

hope its not too tough being confined to home and the bed!
Corrie:)

[Kristy]

We have always had a no video game policy in our house too, much to the confusion of many people.What you don't have a Playstation?! What do you do?! Just recently we allowed them to save up for a Ds Lite if they wanted to.The younger two have but the older girls really weren't bothered.We don't allow MSN either and as the olders girls are just about teenagers this does cause a little friction sometimes as all their friends have access to it.They do understand though and don't mind being different.We try to teach them that being different is am asset and much more interesting than following the crowd.
We do have TV's in the bedrooms but purely for video and DVD watching only.My girls are massive film buffs.It really sparks their imagination and creativity.Obviously all they watch has been screened by us first. Their teachers always comment on their creative writing skills and I know that this isn't just down to the amount of books they devour but also by the way the films they watch bring stories to life.
I would say the key to raising children is to tap into what inspires them.If that happens to be the latest technology then so be it.As long as you are there to guide them they will learn and grow.

[Jess in MA]

I have friends who are raising their little girl with no Santa, Easter Bunny, etc. She sees scary movies and plays video games and they don't baby her and she's turning out great. It works for them, for their family, and she's fabulous.
But I think the key is to do what you want. As a parent you will have a million moments of self-doubt and unfortunately lots of people will question any decision you make, so you have to do what feels right for your family. For you, for how you want to enjoy your life together, so I say if you want Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, leprechauns, fairy princesses and anything else you can dream up- go for it! Enjoy it!
So, that's my two cents worth...:)

[sondra]

Oooooh..I agree - lies, lies, lies. Unfortunately, my future brother-in-law and his wife do the honesty thing. I'm sure their children will make sure to tell my own that all that stuff isn't real, but I'll keep it going as long as I can when the time comes!

Great sale at Superbuzzy...I just got my email! Yum...

[Mary Ellen]

I'm not in the advice giving business, but... My kids were 14 months apart. It worked for us to let them know that if three gifts were good enough for baby Jesus, three gifts were enough for them.

[MichelleB]

Hooray for no TV's in bedrooms! My oldest is 16 and still reminds me that he is the "only" child in high school without a TV in his bedroom. I tell him that when he moves out he can have a TV in his bedroom.

We do have game consoles in our house, but they don't get played all that much.

And I spend more time IM'ing than my kids do!

I think my saviour is my girlfriend who has kids that are older than mine. When I get upset by the things that my teenagers are doing, she can really put things into perspective.

[Jessi - 'tis herself gal]

We adopted three boys from Poland in August and decided to not tell them about Santa and the Easter Bunny, but we couldn't stop them from believing...we were told that we were wrong! There really is a Santa and my youngest son (4) just told me that he wants to be Santa Claus when he grows up...my other son said "me too." The youngest matter of factly said "you can't because there is only one Santa."

Kids create there own wonder...I think it is wonderful to not have tvs in the bedroom or video games...we do the same...the video game stays at grandma's house!

Love your blog!

[happy zombie]

LOVE, love, love your Supperbuzzy fabs!!!

We're liars too. Er, um... we blessed our kids with creative enlightenment!